For people with mental illnesses, the holidays can be a very difficult time. They can just be hard for people in general. They bring up memories, good and bad, and the amount of stress can be damaging.
When I became a mom, I vowed that Christmas would be the greatest of times. Every year, we've baked cookies, put up lights and decorations, I have participated in church caroling activities, we've done Secret Santa for families in need; I've just really grown to love this season. In fact, I became increasingly frustrated with people who weren't filled with holiday cheer. I referred to them as Grinches. And then this year happened. I found myself not wanting to decorate my home with my kids. I got the big fake tree out of the box and it sat for nearly two weeks before I finally got out the ornaments. Our home has no colorful lights, no cookies have been baked, and my husband will tell you about all my complaining each night when I have to move that stupid elf again. (Which, by the way, is really difficult with a young toddler that lacks understanding.) I just haven't been able to find that Christmas Spirit. I have become a total Grinch! But I have gained something I never imagined. Empathy. I've realized that people aren't being 'Grinches', they're hurting. Whether they are engulfed in the grief of a holiday without someone they love, they have been hurt around the holidays before, they've once loved but then been burned and have to spend these days alone, they have a toxic family, they're the outcast of their family, they don't even HAVE a family, they're struggling with depression, they're struggling with another mental illness, they're struggling with physical illness, they don't have enough money to provide the ever increasing demands of Christmas, maybe they lost their job, or everything keeps going wrong. There are so many reasons to struggle around the holidays. I understand this now more than ever. So how can you help a Grinch? Well, I think patience is a really great start. Not taking their negativity personal, not excluding them because you feel like they won't care, asking them how they're doing, giving them chocolate because..chocolate, and sharing your Christmas Spirit with them. Often, the rudest Grinches are the ones who need an act of service or some sort of love the most. Love is, after all, the true meaning of Christmas. So to all the Grinches out there, I hear you. I see you. I understand you. Your feelings DO matter. Do what is best for YOU! To everyone else, Merry Christmas! Now, let's hope 2017 is a little kinder to us all.
1 Comment
Jessie
12/23/2016 09:50:51 pm
Beautifully put.
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